Though I can’t begin to understand the sacrifice their families have made, I am thankful that Master Cpl. Kristal Giesebrecht and Pte. Andrew Miller wore our flag while they worked on our behalf. Farewell.

What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, ‘This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!’ Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, ‘Never have I heard anything more divine’?

-Nietzsche

work-life balance

Here’re the memoirs of on Rome’s 5 Good Emperors, summarized as tightly as i can:

My grandfather Verus taught me to be candid and to control my temper. I thank the gods that my relatives and servants were almost all good persons, that my wife is deferential, affectionate and frugal, and that, when I came to philosophy I did not waste time in logic or reading. Put away your books and face the matter itself.

As for your body, value it no more than if you were just expiring; it is nothing but a little blood and bones. Your breath is but a little air pumped in and out. But the third part is your mind. Here make a stand.

Remember that you are a man and a Roman, and let your actions be done with dignity, gravity, humanity, freedom and justice; let every action be done as though it were your last. Have neither insincerity nor self-love. Pleasure and pain, riches and poverty – all these are common to the virtuous and the depraved, and therefore intrinsically neither good not evil.

Do not spend your thoughts upon other people, nor pry into the talk, fancies and projects of another, nor guess at what he is about, or why he is doing it. Let your choice run all one way, and be resolute for that which is best. And to this end be always provided with a few short, uncontested notions, to keep your understanding true. The whole world is but one commonwealth, for there is no other society in which mankind can be incorporated. Whatever is agreeable to You, O Universe, is so to me, too. Mankind are poor, transitory things; one day in life, and the next turned to ashes. Go straight forward, pursuing your own and the common interest. We ought to live with the gods. But let all be done out of mere love and kindness.

Reflect upon those who have made the most glorious figure or have met with the greatest misfortunes. Where are they all now? They are vanished like a little smoke.

marcus aurelius

Every 18 months for the last decade, the world has doubled the data it pushes to you.
Twice as much email, twice as many friend requests, twice as many sites to check, twice as many devices.
When does your mind lose the ability to keep up? Then what happens? Is it already happening?

Often and, i think with a different message in mind, the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore say “Imma do me“.

That’s the answer to Seth’s question: focus on what’s important to you. Sure, there’s a crush of information and opportunity with it, but, i think we’re each best served by finishing, delivering, completing tasks, jobs, projects etc. It’s my job to be productive; being fully informed is a luxury. Said another way: it’s my job to be productive; it’s possible to be well enough informed to be effective at that job without attending to every piece of information available.

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I prefer to think of my goal-oriented lifestyle as steadfastly dedicated to those goals, rather than an effect of a stubborn nature.  The difference may seem subtle but it’s really rather huge – in this context I mean to suggest to you that steadfastness is a choice,  while stubbornness is a reflex or an otherwise unconscious behaviour.

Steadfastness is consistency in pursuing a goal or living out a vision; it has been the critical factor to success in my past academics, athletics and business.

Now steadfast adherence to my image of a happy, healthy, busy and self-aware home is top of mind because, to paraphrase Aristotle: happiness is not a state we pass in or out of. Rather, happiness is something we DO.

be well.

Too many people view the toughness of the world, the difficulties of life, as undermining the possibility of any sort of strong confidence in our pursuits. Seneca teaches us to look at things the opposite way; to see the obstacles we face as a proving ground, and opportunity to build a deep-seated resilient self-confidence.

As the credit-crunch of 2008 shows us: “while every sort of excess is harmful, the most dangerous of all is unlimited good fortune”

Today’s pic: Goldman Sachs stock performance in the 8 months leading up to and following the credit crunch:

a. ORIGINS:

Narcissus is a hero in Greek mythology;  in the various stories he is exceptionally cruel, disdaining those who love him.  As divine punishment he falls in love with a reflection in a pool, not realizing it was his own, and perishes there, not being able to leave the beauty of his own reflection.

b. GETTING CLINICAL

The narcissist is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, and prestige.  Psychiatrists recognize “narcissistic personality disorder” in the DSM-IV-TR as being:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

4. requires excessive admiration

5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her

9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

c. GETTING REAL

Note the word “grandiosity” and don’t be distracted by it. It’s not meant to suggest only the famous are able to be narcissists. It is meant to refer to YOUR sense that YOUR life is important, worthy of everyone’s attention – grandiose.

I I I. ME ME ME. Yes, we all can hear you and we all know who you are in the way you want us to know you.  You’re very important and we’re all glad we get to hear about you and your life in such great detail…

but

Your love of self & constant need to express your definition of you to us – to prove to us you’re who you imagine you are or would like to be – is the reason happiness will always be out of your reach & why love is just so complicated to you.  Why can’t you find a girl to understand you? You’re a nice guy!  We know. The women you meet know – because you spend great effort to make sure we do – and we are exhausted by your constant portrayal of identity & lack of genuine social interaction.  We all know who you are and are uninterested in spending time with a character from a movie.

d. A Question:

Wikipedia’s entry suggests that NPD occurs in about 1% of the population.  How many people do you know that seem to be playing a part in a movie, rather than truly interacting with the people in their lives?

Much ado has been made about your ‘winning the silver’ in the media.  Opinion pieces abound deriding the idea that you ’settled’ for less than gold. You’ve said nearly as much yourself. Still, I don’t believe you.

I don’t believe you because I saw the look in your eyes in the moment you saw the score of what’s-her-name’s run (the american that took gold).  Despite what you now say about what you think and how you feel – at the moment of truth, you wore a true & deep pain on your face.

I’m writing this letter to say: it’s ok, and I wish more Canadians would allow themselves to be like that. It’s ok to want to win. It’s ok to say so. It’s ok to be upset when your best isn’t THE best. Heck:  when you’re an athlete it’s your job to win.  When you were focusing on the job at the top of the hill, moments before your run, there was nothing but execution. winning. Why sell us the idea that participation is enough?  Though I can imagine there’re influences inspiring you to behave this way, and ultimately I don’t fault you for maximizing your payday, I just am frustrated that so many of our proud countrymen & countrywomen make apologies for their ambitions… and worse… make apologies for being exceptional.

There is one group of guys who I know I can rely on to eat red meat & take no prisoners.  That’s why we love them and their game so much!  You know I’m right.  WOLVES.

So here’s my question:  why is it ok for you, Jenn Heil, to ‘win silver’ but nothing other than gold will suffice for our hockey teams?

be well, keep winning.

-james

you can never have a good relationship with anyone when your focus is the relationship. There’s ahuman being there who existed well before you got to them, and they weren’t built for you or your needs or your parents or your future dreams as an actor.

If you want to be happy with someone then your body and mind have to instinctively adapt to their happiness.  If you’re not ready for this kind of sacrifice, then do you & your potential mates a favour: stay single.